Daily Routine

It was 4:00 clock in Chennai, India and it was already hot, a bit humid and kind of uneasy for an early morning. As usual I was sitting in the kitchen with my mom, making me perfect dosa. Not only that she also prepared a new variety of chutney (a condiment) after referring to one of her old recipe book.

My wife, always jealous of this would comment, “your intention of going to India is just to eat Dosa’s at 4:00 AM, troubling your mom”

My daughter would intervene, “Those dosa’s are yummy and I love them too and grandma wakes up at 4:00 AM everyday”, as she was with me during my last trip. You might think it is just first few days due to the jet lag, but not so. It continued throughout our 2 week stay.

My wife, “I would never ever get up at 4:00 AM to entertain anyone in my kitchen - let alone making fresh dosas”.

My daughter took the cue, “Mommy, sorry no offense,  his mom is a better cook than my mom”

I would move out sensing that the Tom and Jerry sequence had just began!

I started eating my first dosa with the special chutney and poked her, “Mom, is it really bothering you to get up at 4:00 AM everyday”

She replied while pouring the batter onto the griddle and swirling it into a perfect circle, without taking her eyes off it, “No! it doesn’t!”

She continued, “It’s my daily routine. Wake up, have a tea and might sleep a bit more, if needed and go on with the tasks to approach the day. It is important as your dad will wake up by 5:00AM to start his daily routine”.

“Daily Routine?” - I was so puzzled that such a simple world could have such a great impact on a lifestyle.

My vacation to visit my parents this time around took a different turn as my extended family was staying there as well. It was an interesting experience as I was going through and I took this opportunity and was not surprised - as I was caught by the notion of ‘Daily Routine’.

I could see my Mom and Dad well past 70s and 80s, still were very active in taking care of their things, not only for them also be a great help to the community around them. On the contrary, the other part of the house was in a different universe. They do not wake up in time, do not eat in time, do not participate in any of the house related activities, do sit with the computer for hours and absolutely no set activity at all - at the same time expecting things to happen for them. 

I was able to see that, because of their routine, My parents have the capacity of creating a positive behavior - however the others had developing to be moochers (with Mitt Romney’s permission). I usually wondered the that is inherent human nature to create habit loops by cue and reward mechanism. It is still a puzzle for me, how difficult is for one to start developing the habit of basic structures as the formation for the routine loops.

I have found the book by Charles Duhigg ("The Power of Habit:  Why We Do What We Do in Life & Business") an excellent resource to learn how to form new habits that enhance my life & lessen the detrimental effects of the already ingrained ones that are not healthy or productive.  Just observing my parent’s fantastic modeling was a seminar in itself in improving my habits!

I asked my mom, “What is your routine like?” - I was curious to see her motivation and underlying drive to set things for her, as both of them stay home most of the time.

“It is very simple. Get up early in the morning (4:30) , have my tea, take my asthma medication(inhaler), take a small nap for fifteen minutes, then prepare the breakfast, get ready things for dad to perform his pooja, the care of the unique different needs for the extended family and plan cooking..”, she continued as she was folding the dosa on the pan with a perfect golden brown color on it.

It has been proven scientifically, that each person must determine which routines are important for him/her to imprint so they are HABITS that do not require planning or much thinking about--like the absent-minded state you are in when you drive to work every morning (for example).  It is attributed to a tissue in our brain basal ganglia which is integral to this behavior of developing habits. 

The morning tea, short nap, food preparation, interaction with all early morning vendors - such as milk, newspaper, vegetables, preparation for my dad, etc. are all automatic to my mom.  When she used to live with us she was always searching for something or missing a step as this is not her ROUTINE or HABIT & she had to THINK!

I asked her, “If I’ve to ask you how to plan or set up a routine to the other people, what would you recommend?” My intention was to get into her routine statement and to correlate with the science behind it and get a sense of her accomplishment.

She calmly replied, “Start waking up at 5 in the morning and drink water immediately. You can go back to sleep after 9 if you want on a weekend, but those 4 hours in the morning will change the way you live! Knowing that you have a head-start on the day, you will want to plan out your day, make time tables.”

She continued and insisted,  “Somehow waking up early, makes you feel good about yourself and you wouldn't want to give up on that, once you start off.”

“What do you expect them to do during those hours?” 

“The first thing to do when you wake up is plan out briefly what you need to get done that day, and the last thing you do before going to bed is check an record what you actually did.”

She emphasized, “Start writing it down in this manner:

• What did I get done today?
• What did I do for my family today?
• Did I exercise today?
• Did I care for my friends today?
• What am I grateful for today?
• What are the three good things about today?
• How can I make tomorrow better?
• How much money did I spend today?

and this will guide you automatically to a routine that will fit your lifestyle”

I knew that she keeps a notebook and writes down every expense down to a penny, before going to bed.

She concluded, “Don't get me wrong, You can catch up on your favorite TV shows and movies every weekend, but it won’t seem like a waste of time anymore. Also, remember you create your routine, but never get yourself inserted into someone else’s and be creative at all times”

It was worth a minimum of three credits in Harvard business school along with yummy dosas!